Lace for thirteen years: the traditional 13th anniversary gift

Your thirteenth anniversary is on the calendar and the gift lists agree on one word: lace. The traditional 13th anniversary gift is lace, and on the modern list it is textiles (some lists say furs). That is the quick answer.

The useful question is what to do with it. Lace is a hard material to give well. Most lace gifts get worn once or folded into a drawer, and thirteen years deserves something that stays in sight.

The 13th anniversary gift, traditional and modern

Here is year thirteen on the lists most people use today:

• Traditional: lace
• Modern: textiles (some lists give furs, and faux fur is a common choice)
• Gemstone: citrine on some lists, which varies from list to list

Lace is the one that is stable. Hallmark lists lace as traditional and textiles as modern for the thirteenth year, and Wikipedia's anniversary table also gives lace as the US traditional gift. Treat the gemstone and any flower as extras, because those columns change from one source to the next.

Where the lace year comes from

Marking years of marriage with a material is older than the gift guides. The full year-by-year list is more recent: in 1937 the American National Retail Jeweler Association published an expanded list with a gift for every year up to the twentieth. Lists have been revised since, which is why the modern column differs depending on who you ask.

No one source ties lace to a single clear origin, so we will not invent one. What the sources do agree on is the symbolism, and it is a good one.

What lace says about thirteen years

Lace is made from very fine threads worked into a pattern, so it looks delicate and weighs almost nothing. It is also made to last: lace that has been looked after gets handed down. The usual reading is that a marriage at thirteen years is the same thing. It has been worked on, thread by thread, through a lot of ordinary days, and the pattern only shows now that there is enough of it.

There is a flower that carries the same name. Queen Anne's lace is named for the lace fashionable in Queen Anne's time, because each flat white head is made of dozens of tiny florets. A few heads have one dark red floret in the middle, and a folk story says it is a drop of blood from a queen pricking her finger on a lace needle. It is a roadside wildflower that happens to share its name with the gift for this year.

13th anniversary gift ideas that last past the day

Search for lace anniversary gifts and the results lean one way: lingerie, a lace-trimmed robe, a pair of cufflinks, a set of linens. All fine. Most of them share one trait. They are for one person, they are worn or used, and they are put away when the day is over.

Three questions help you choose something that passes the test:

1. Will you both see it? Something for the home you share marks the marriage, not only one half of it.
2. Does it carry something only you two have? Your names and the wedding date. A date stays true, which is why it ages better than "13 years" printed on an object.
3. Would it be good without the anniversary? Cover the names with your thumb. If what is left is still something you would keep, it will outlast the occasion.

If you want to stay on the list, a few ways to do it:

• A lace table runner or linens. It sits in the room you share and gets used on the days that matter.
• A soft throw. This is the modern textiles and furs column, and a faux fur or knit throw is something you both use.
• Citrine jewelry, for lists that give it as the gemstone.
• Art that shows lace, which brings the symbol onto the wall instead of into a drawer.

Queen Anne's lace: the lace gift you hang

This is the idea our 13th anniversary Queen Anne's lace print is built on. A soft watercolor-style bouquet of Queen Anne's lace is tied with a ribbon of lace on a warm ivory background. Beneath it sit your two names and your wedding date, set in script and small capitals. You type them on the page and see them in a live preview before you order.

To be clear about what it is: it is a print of the artwork, framed in solid pine and ready to hang, and it is not made of lace. That is the point. It marks the lace year in a form that does not yellow or tear. It comes in a range of sizes, and the natural wood frame suits the ivory and sage palette best. If you would like to browse every piece we make for the other years, they are together on our anniversary gifts by year page.

Frequently asked questions

What is the traditional gift for a 13th wedding anniversary?

Lace. It is the traditional gift on the lists most people use, including Hallmark's. Lace stands for something delicate and patient that has been worked into a pattern over years, which is a fair description of thirteen years together.

What is the modern gift for a 13th anniversary?

Textiles on most lists, and furs on some. In practice that means fabric you can use at home: a soft throw, good linens, a faux fur blanket. Some couples give one traditional and one modern gift.

What is a good 13th anniversary gift for him?

Lace is an awkward fit for most husbands, so the modern column helps: a quality throw, a scarf or a leather-and-wool set. A shared piece for the house that carries your names and wedding date is the other route, and it works for either of you.

What is a good 13th anniversary gift for her?

Anything that uses lace as a subject rather than a material tends to land better than lingerie or a trimmed robe. A framed piece that shows the lace year and carries your names, or a lace table runner for the room you share, both outlast the day.

Do we both have to give lace?

No. The list is a starting point, not a rule. Many couples split it, one giving the traditional lace gift and the other the modern textiles gift. Others give one shared gift for the home, which is often the one still in use years later.

Thirteen years, kept on the wall

Lace is the delicate year that held. Give it something that lasts: start with our 13th anniversary lace print with your names and date, or see every year's material on anniversary gifts by year. Earlier years: the 5th anniversary gift, wood and the 3rd anniversary gift, leather.